First Post

 Beware the dark magic that is intrinsic within the bones of those who wish to cause pain. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure how I want to go about this. I will be posting stream of conscious, near-nonsense thoughts. I will also attempt some more structured, rigid stories or poems, anything that comes to mind. Mental playground is the start, hopefully, of something more robust. This is the first iteration of something which allows for my growth and thought processes to be seen in real time, by me and others who may find them interesting. Do I have something unique or, at the very least, interesting to share with the world? We'll see. I think we all find ourselves more interesting than we really are.

 I'll probably post sporadically, whenever the inspiration hits which, hopefully, won't always be when I'm taking a shit at work, but for some reason the motivation flows through me in this little poop cubicle. I'll try not to be too repetitive, which is something I struggle with. I'll also try not to repeat myself too often. I'll do my best to keep everything as entertaining as possible without sacrificing what I really want to say and get across. If it's interesting, great. Let me know so I can affirm my ego. If it's boring and unoriginal, also let me know. I don't want to waste my time on this if nobody is reading it.

 I might give an introduction to what I'll be talking about at the beginning of each post or not. I find randomness to be entertaining, when done right. Specifically, though, what I'll be talking about the most is my struggle with mental health, how it's affected my view on the world, and my journey to overcoming it. Whether metaphorically or directly, this will be a theme throughout my posts. I won't post too many details but I'm open to talking about pretty much anything so please feel free to mention anything you've read. I'll also bring up philosophical topics that I find interesting, both practical and abstract concepts that everyone should be able to relate to and find coherent. 

I'm hoping this will be a good and much-needed outlet for my creativity. Enough so that I can delete Snapchat in peace knowing I can communicate and express myself through this. I'll express love, joy, pain, fear, anxiety, depression, and MORE!!! I'll discuss realizing how my family life has affected my personality. Understanding my trust issues and confronting them. How I've looked at the universe and consistently, uncontrollably switched between feeling like nothing compared to it and as though I created it. The constant struggle to understand and tame my mind. My suicidal thoughts while debating with myself the morality of suicide. I find this stuff interesting, and my goal is not to be depressing about these topics. Life is hilarious. Everything is so funny, even when dealing with suicidal thoughts. Life is hilarious and beautiful and dark and dreadful and nothing and everything. That's what I want to talk about.