innocence
I used to want to know the people from my past. To watch them grow and change, to make connections last. In fact, I'd think of them fondly, nostalgia embalmed me. In a false reality, we're closer than you thought of me. I vaguely remember being a kid with confidence wanting to make people laugh, crushing on the pretty girl in class. I wonder what life would be if those events transpired more smoothly, who would I be? I never thought I'd be in hiding, afraid somebody might find me and chastise me. I wish I didn't find guilt and shame in thinking of these people kindly. I wish I didn't pause when I catch myself smiling. Every time I see someone who reminds of those days, I pretend that I never got a glimpse of their face. When I was a child all the way to yesterday, I feel pain tripping on little mistakes. They cascade and erupt, and I think it all started when I got put down by my very first friend. Come with me, take a tour, in silence, it seems. The labels I can...