It's Hard to Write Honestly
It's hard to write something that truly conveys what my experience. Not hard in the sense of it being especially complex. More in the sense that I'm afraid. I had a life that allowed me to be surrounded by many wonderful people. I ruined it. In many ways I felt stuck, unable to move toward or away from them. The circumstances I found myself in and the decisions I made created an unmoving, imploding sense of self. A girl I wouldn't let go of, friends I hid my thoughts and feelings from, and a family I was trying to distance. It's a nice thesis, but it's hardly that simple. To go over the history of everything would be to miss the point. I still carry the confusion and anxiety from that time with me. My perspective is split in half. One one side, I was a boy with a crush who valued humor and morals. I was just somebody who wanted friends and a girlfriend. I wanted to live up to the potential I once saw within. I wanted to be the ear that could hear and s...