ignorance is not bliss

I walk around with a frown

My head down, eyes on the screen

Mind on other things than 

what's in front of me

Distracted, mind racing in silence

Unspoken fear of violence

threatening me under my eyelids 

Can't find calmness, not my strongest 

when I want to be

Mean words compound, unaware

of their profound effect 

Jokes which provoke reactions

Lacking intention and direction 

Regression contradicts promised progression 

These thoughts remind me of my therapy sessions

Which seem to go completely unmentioned 

You see, staring mindlessly leads to these becoming top of mind 

I can only control my own behavior, what does that mean? 

The intrusive thoughts grow stronger 

Becoming reality; life becoming tragedy 

My queen doesn't seee it, it seems, I can't explain what I think in a moment

What do I fail to see in her: her depression, her fear? 

My dear, you and I both can't live like this

That brings me solace to know we're in this together

The stormy weather has found its way inside once again

I'd rather not pretend it's any different than it is 

Another confession will not solve this, right? 

The guilt is a manifestation of mind, right? 

Stimulate me, I can't think, fractured thoughts skip a beat and replay three times

I realized a while ago I was inhibiting my speech

Now I've fallen in a place where it's hard to even breathe

My shallow, mindless breaths take in minimal life

And I breathe out little stress, holding onto the strife

Hold on tight as I try to write this happy ending

As the cold weather ends, know we'll be spending our time in the sun

Spending precious time with our furry sons

We'll soak in the life of light, reading the books we've ignored every night

I know we've withered away in the winter, but the spring brings with it hope

With a rope we can tie into to climb out of this dark and blurry abyss 

And end the night with soft, gentle kiss

We'll feel every feeling, ignorance is not bliss