outsourced self-harm

The attention I'm given lasts a second or two

About the same as my gratitude

For the friends that I'm surrounded by

Before they slap my naked face goodbye 

I ask for it, I beg you to hit me

My self-harm done with outsourcing 

Just to quell this feeling inside

To confirm that a part of me died

Tell me that you can feel this

This slap on my broken wrist

Let me rest and be at peace

To cease this unending unease 

Lay me down with a gentle hand

They'll never know that I couldn't stand

To be with them and to be without 

Unspoken words from my beaten mouth