An Imperfect Piece

 Words can't begin to assume the ability to represent emotion. My words cause inward frustration. My outlet for love and communication. My cries for help. My inability to understand myself. There's beauty in lust and pride and pain and suffering. There's something unspeakable in avoidance. The avoidance of all things life: pain, joy, happiness, fear. Why avoid them when they come near? I am a man and this can't be withstood and I can't take back my manhood and I must be a man. My mind is so clouded I am doubted. I am undoubtedly a man whose manhood's astounded. I'm lost and need a candle but no one is willing to light one in stand of. I stand above. Then I fall below.

Poetry and words are not this man's angle. They're a breach of these leeches which eat and cause suffering at the behest of. There's nothing I am the best of. Yet the rest can attest I'm a mess with a blessed left light awkwardly shining through a tinted lamp. A tint of the lamp's own making. Surrounded by darkness so my light can't be questioned. A weakness I'm aware of. A crack created by some semblance of love I clung to until the beast from which I clung cared not so that I could no longer expect to be cared for. I care for myself I cling to my own jeans studded with soul gems I can't see. 

I can't see love in my own naked body. It's a visceral description born from a distorted perception given to me by misguided perceivers. An impure love surrounds me and no wonder I'm the victim of a storm of insecurity. How can you expect me? How can you expect me to be me in my best form while also following what you believe? Let go of all the falsehoods which the world presents to you there is nothing but you and me and this love and failure to love that we are bound to. A representation of a woman's love, love me, and explain what you love. Help me see, I'm not a victim or a student. I'm a lover lost with love in a spot blinded by a scene that I can't describe. I see how I'm seen and I love what you believe and I am not what you think. These words aren't meant to confound or institute belief but to be read with purity, and understand that a mess of disparity compromises my ability to share with myself and to those around me that I'm more than what you think I am and I am not what you think I am. I'm not aiming for clarity. There's a feeling I can't describe inside of me. This part of me falls separately from the rest of me.