a little lost

  I'm a little lost, many costly mistakes left me in pain. To the people around me, I'm aware that I can be a strain. Not in vain, I try so hard to sustain a strong mind and stable emotions but I question the frame that I've built to view the world through, do you feel the same? I'm not insane, just a little lost, can you help me find my way? I'll abstain from all of the things that you despise, at least I'll try but I need to know why you feel and think what's inside. I'm left guessing, it's lame I feel sad and in shame. I'll be fine in the end but it'll stay in my brain, what I could learn from the stain on my name. I'm in fear, I never told you but I've tried to steer clear of my Dad's ways, and now it seems history's here. The apple has not fallen far from the tree, so it seems. It feels like I've suffered defeat, not from you but from me. This internal war that you've seen from afar, has now spread outward helped by the drinks at the bar. The original wound has never healed. Now I've got more work to do.