Audacity

     "God gave me the audacity". I squandered it and fell into Satan's teeth. Now I have no clue what the day will bring. Will I smile or live in denial? Now I have to ask for permission to breathe. I've been chewed up, looking for a passion increase. True friends would help me try to find peace. I tried to help you but you fell for my demon's misdeeds. Life is now more of a mystery. I look at myself and find selfishness and greed. Part of me believes it's a product of weed and this drink. I know deep down it's a portion of me. "The struggle for the right side of history". I swim in this ocean of life looking for proper belief. Is it something that I can ever even see? I look at myself to find love, joy, and community. Sometimes I think they're a product of shrooms and LSD. Deep down I know they're a portion of me. I'm scared and free. Asking for help lying against this dying tree. Until I remember that only I can help me.

I'm a man on a mission, a lifelong condition, either I stand up or force myself into submission.