paranoia

The thought arises, they're talking about me

Whispering about me, thinking about me

Why me, why do I feel so separate from this scene?

Truthfully, I don't understand what I'm seeing

I feel mentally and physically weak

Unprepared to be made deceased, on missing posters, on the news

Body never found, maybe somewhere in the ground, down the river

Body mangled and distorted, not one could recognize

The mystery of me, completed and made entirely about somebody that takes advantage of me

Who could do such a thing?

I imagine their faces on the news, it all clicks

They're gonna lure me away, put a knife in my neck

I have to get ready, too late to do so physically, so I have to be prepared mentally

What are you not telling me?

If I see one small movement, I'm running

If I can't run, I'm fighting for my life

But shit, what if I'm not right?

What if I fight only to bring to light the severity of my mental plight?

Fuck, what if I am right?

What if I let my guard down and you see me on the daily news?

What if you find out that you have to attend my funeral?

What if all the things I wish to say are things that will never be said?

What if all things you want to say get left torturing your head?

What if it's really not a big deal that I'm dead?

Another sad death of a suburban white kid.

Who really didn't leave much behind but the words he did and didn't write. 

The conflicting memories people have surrounding me, now made moot by actions of those that feigned friendly

Another unjust murder, deemed evil by most people

A simplified story, the victim ignored

Crucify the evil, have balance restored

I can feel you behind me as we walk

I can picture your movements as we talk

I feel enticed to turn around and put a knife in your crown before you get the chance to do the same to me

When it comes to life and death, nobody makes that choice but me

I honor your life as long as you do the same for me

Don't twist my words, the last thing I want to do is hurt anybody

But if it's me or them, then it's gotta be somebody (paranoid)