Sometimes

 Sometimes I wonder why I don't want to die

With the slow, shallow thoughts that occupy my mind

Why do I persist in existence while dissatisfied?

How can I lay in this empty pocket of life?

Is there anybody I can trust to help guide me out of strife?

Can't help but fear their motives contradict their insight

Is there anywhere I can go that might fill me with God's light?

God metaphorically, I don't have a repository for Faith

I'm looking for hope, unconditional love would be great

I want to be able to give, for mine and your sake

But something in me is broken, make no mistake

I have a desire to share the love that I have,

And to receive the love and care that you've stashed

Away for the day when you meet someone worthy

Somewhere in the transaction, my vision gets blurry

When you say those words, constrasting emotions come in a flurry

I know I'm not worth it, I know you can't trust me

I'll break your heart, believe my apologies aren't rusty

I'm an expert by now, I'll pull you back in

I'll promise that I'll be better than I've been

In a moment of weakness, I'll fail you again

So I'll put an end to it before we begin

But I'll let you know that I wanted to try

It wasn't your fault, please know it was mine

I'll take the blame to my grave when I die

Sooner or later, it's just a matter of time