suffering

Suffering in silence because I don't know how to speak
My words and your heart fail to meet
My heart and my mind fail to see
the blessings that each day truly brings
The way that I write seems to be 

an indication of the shallow nature of my attempts at creation
so I reach into melodrama, psychoanalyzing amaturely
Anything to attempt to relay what I'm feeling
and it surely would help if it rhymed perfectly
If it made you feel what I feel in this moment
I'm a regular joe with a fractured, hollow soul
with trauma in stories that I fear can't be told
If I am so young, why do I feel so old?
I miss being dumb without feeling cold
Surrounded by family, I am like mold
In each of their hearts, I see only gold
The contrast implies that I have grown 

to believe I have no value and that you know
Have you known me to be strong and kind?
Have you seen me falter and lose stride?
Have you considered what's simmering inside?
Can I count on you to allow me not to hide?