Emptiness

I give you this, I fear my lack of intelligence. It's been years since I found this fear and it's just as pervasive as ever. To be clever, is it a virtue? Do I hurt you with my silence? To me, it seems better than when I speak. I sleep underneath my blissful laughs and my shitty jokes. I watch as both of these parts of me battle for supremacy and I vie to awaken and take my spot, to fulfill my potential. My split personality is detrimental to your reality, so see me dance, hear me sing. My song is hidden in youth, I can't let it go, I can't let it go, I can't let it go. There's meaning here but it isn't calculated, and maybe that's okay, but someday, some calculus is necessary. To take what I learn and turn it into summary and bring it into reality, letting it hum under my speech. Are you on my team? Can I trust you not to judge me based on one thing? What am I asking? What can you do for me? Can you do this for me? Can you help me, support me? Speak kindly, speak freely? Help me to be me? How are you, you? How are you? I'm asking out of kindness, I don't mean to pry, but I don't mind if you're honest. Promise.