heaving
My body rummages through the minor moments that have and have not yet come
Speaking to each one, and believing the lies it's told
Lost in questioning truth
Laid to live this way
Optimism decay
A few good days is not enough to erase the years of pain
That internal rupture
The tearing feeling of losing hope and believing something unbelievable
Unforgivable, incompatible with love and freedom
You know I am the way that I am
And the way I am is the way I accuse those I despise
My reprise, action is what matters, and I attempt to act kind
Right?
Or do I have an agenda?
Do I intend to seem a way to make you allow me to have my way?
I say I may be self-aware, but how does that metric compare?
How do I view my level?
Keep my eyes tight, hold my chest high.
Continue to try.
How often do I fail in ways I don't realize?
Hide away and this part of me will die.
Hide away and I hide from the truth to my mind.
Mine is different from yours, but you've seen more than I have.
You know more than I can.
I can't ask you to hold my hand.
I'm selfish.
Lazy.
Depressed.
I shame me to make it easy for the rest because I need approval before I lay to rest.
I wonder if my best can only come when all else is gone.
In the moments before death.
Can I let go of my tension?
Can I say what I'd like to?
Can my heart and soul feel at ease?
Can I attempt to not contradict the bliss of a light breeze?
But I could find something wrong in Heaven, baby.
Speaking to each one, and believing the lies it's told
Lost in questioning truth
Laid to live this way
Optimism decay
A few good days is not enough to erase the years of pain
That internal rupture
The tearing feeling of losing hope and believing something unbelievable
Unforgivable, incompatible with love and freedom
You know I am the way that I am
And the way I am is the way I accuse those I despise
My reprise, action is what matters, and I attempt to act kind
Right?
Or do I have an agenda?
Do I intend to seem a way to make you allow me to have my way?
I say I may be self-aware, but how does that metric compare?
How do I view my level?
Keep my eyes tight, hold my chest high.
Continue to try.
How often do I fail in ways I don't realize?
Hide away and this part of me will die.
Hide away and I hide from the truth to my mind.
Mine is different from yours, but you've seen more than I have.
You know more than I can.
I can't ask you to hold my hand.
I'm selfish.
Lazy.
Depressed.
I shame me to make it easy for the rest because I need approval before I lay to rest.
I wonder if my best can only come when all else is gone.
In the moments before death.
Can I let go of my tension?
Can I say what I'd like to?
Can my heart and soul feel at ease?
Can I attempt to not contradict the bliss of a light breeze?
But I could find something wrong in Heaven, baby.
Comments
Post a Comment