Moving

 Laughs in the cracks of my memories of friends
Still mine, yet never will be again
I feel their frowns and their backs turned to me
until I remember the smiles
I remember the years I've spent trying to walk
I remember the pain of a child

Of what remains, it's mostly the pain
The smiles were lost in my action
What's striking is both the hope and the fear
that they'll be regained in my absence

Surrounded by people, blind to their hearts,
and hoping for mine to be held
I fight to stay strong, but I can't fight for long
My hope and fear seem to meld 

How do we know if we've really changed,
where does the meter lie?
Who tells the truth, who lives in illusion,
who has the perfect eye? 

My memories, I'd like not to be afraid
of making mistakes that preceded this day
My pain, can I see you clearly,
so I can smile with no mask at all?
My friends, I wish to carry you,
as you humbly do for me
The heart, I wish to admire,
to set my fear of love free.