smiling mask

My heart burns and radiates throughout my body to end at my dry tongue
I no longer desire a smile
I'm once again lost, but this time it's different
I see their flaws and feel steady against them
My curiosity pulls me in, and I am once again disappointed by the choices I see
I stand alone, I guess
How many others see what I see?
I guess my flaw is vanity,
to look down on perceived insanity
I long for an honest smile
I claim to love the complexity of humanity,
and I'm repulsed, simultaneously
Understandably, we all desire love, comfort, acceptance
We wear our mask to reflect those we fear might harm us,
and everybody pays the price of anonymity
I forgot all about it, in my own world
I'd like to say that it's okay
It's okay to be scared, driven by desire
To feel the feelings you'd rather kill or distract
Make mistakes but don't be restless in shame
It's not nothing, either
We all need an honest hand, and I try my best,
but I strain to accept a smile from a well-worn mask,

and I've never been able to hide in plain sight