scared

I feel rock bottom. It's indifferent to me. I feel so comfortable in the arms of she. I feel so comfortable in this daily routine. One step of change is terrifying to me. I shudder, shake, and my back starts to ache. My heart feels tense and my breath doesn't help. I go to cry but my eyes remain dry. I cripple and break as fragile as I am. I fear what will be if I can't use my hand. My strength which lies in a foreign land. I must muster the courage to make the demand. I can no longer shit where I sleep and stand. The beauty of the world recites the command. "Calm yourself and think of a plan." Calm yourself. Take on the plan. Calm yourself. Trust in and open your hand.