big/small

I wanna tell you how I'm feeling lately

I don't know right from wrong, left from right, big from small

The small talk that feels so big prevents me from the closest friends 

I know you want someone to smile, to live in curiosity with you 

I want the same thing too, but I don't know, all the joys feel miniscule

The weight of failure and complacency makes my seed feel unwatered

My secrets from the past keep coming back when they're unwanted 

Every word feels wrong, wrong thoughts feel right

I dream these things, I can't even find peace at night

And I keep recycling these fights I had when I was in that place

Which makes it hard to take the time to just admire your face 

Sometimes I think these problems were born with me, innate 

But I can't give up, can't let you down in disgrace 

I want to turn that corner to be the man you can embrace 

And I'll find my way there, can't let fear prevent my pace

In the meantime, I try to treat you with the kindness you deserve

To preserve what we have until I can give you what you've truly earned