Sadly

I've lost my way 

I don't feel peace, I don't feel love

I just feel rage

I'm working towards a mistake

And I feel numb

And change must come today

My troubles are strange

I can't tell where they come from

Or I'm lying to save face

I tip-toe sadly, my words feel worthless

I took steps forward, I felt pushed down

I swallow my pills, I work for money

My passion was killed

Now everything's funny

I've lost my voice in the usual way

I've kept to myself what I don't want to say

And shame percolates in every bit of my body

All I can think of is what I don't feel 

I cringe when I smile, I cringe when I frown

I cringe when I do or don't make a sound

I cringe in the mirror, with my eyelids closed

I cringe when I think of the me I composed 

And it's not the past

It's not memories

It's living and breathing

My own enemy 

Swallow my pain

For just another day

That's how I became

This loveless way 

And how do I tell the one I promised

That I don't feel the way that I know I crave

A loving life with words flowing freely

A long road ahead I can't wait to pave