wishes

I wish I could break down and cry

I think I'd feel better

But I can't 

Not sure why

I can only explode 

Which doesn't bode well

For my ongoing shame

And my loved ones can tell 

I wish I could meditate

To flush away this frustration 

Reunite with my third eye

Lay waste to hesitation 

I wish I could read

But books seem to bore me

Even ones I loved

Are another joyless story 

I wish I could love

As freely as a honeybee

Flying in a field of flowers

No parasite hunting me 

I wish I could speak

My throat is clogged

With something in my heart

Could be a frog

I wish I could think

But these absent thoughts

A familiar foe

Which intention has fought 

I wish I could cry

One tear would be fine

I wish I could own 

These emotions of mine